Buy experiences, not things

If a person has a materialistic attitude and, even worse, the need to compare his state of possession with others, then his joy in acquiring the dream thing quickly passes. An example? As soon as it turns out that the neighbor's car is more expensive or has better equipment, some people can no longer enjoy their car. We know that, don't we?

Toxic self-comparison takes away the pleasure

One of the reasons we enjoy items so briefly is that it is easy to compare whether what we have bought is actually better than what the people we compare ourselves to have. Objects are easier to compare with each other than sensations. Both the price and the measurable characteristics of a given product facilitate such comparisons, and their effects can be negative for our psyche.

In the case of sensations, it is difficult to judge which of the people experienced more pleasure - even when they tried the same things. If several people drink the same wine, attend a concert or admire a painting, It is impossible to determine whose pleasure was greater. It is all the more difficult to compare sensations from different situations. Even if individuals tried to determine their pleasure on a scale, it would still not be precisely examined who actually tasted the greater exhilaration.

Moreover - in the case of experiences, the price is not any determinant of the level of pleasure. It is not that a wine twice as expensive will give us twice as much pleasure. In addition, even free activities can give us more joy than what we have to pay for.

So if someone — even the very rich — tries to build his sense of worth or success on the possession of expensive objects, he will fall into the trap, because there will always be a person with more material goods than him...

Some people find it easier to spend on things than to survive

Spending money wisely is one of 9 areas of financial management. In order to ensure your well-being, we need not only to buy items, but also to take care of pleasant experiences.

We can observe a different approach to money when analyzing the purchasing decisions of people with different types of financial identity. I described these types in the article”Financial identity. Its influence on actions and emotions related to money”.

While hedonists are usually willing to spend on both objects and sensations, as part of financial coaching I also worked with people with the identities of “Ciułacz” or “Zamortwiacz”, for whom spending on sensations was even more difficult emotionally than buying objects, because experiences are fleeting... Some even gave up concerts of their favorite performers or confessions dream vacation, because this “concert cost as much as shoes, and a foreign trip as much as a large part of the car”...

Paying for items was therefore easier for them to rationalize. However, they felt that by limiting the purchase of what gave them pleasant sensations, they reduced their sense of happiness.

The pitfalls of overspending on items

In the days of communism, that is, a period of chronic shortage of all goods, hoarding things was a very rational strategy. People bought to spare — also to protect their children. However, the situation has changed. The shops are full, and the media is doing everything to get us to constantly buy more than we need...

Although being surrounded by objects can give pleasure, give an illusory sense of security and spend money on “something tangible”, then - of course, after buying the things we really need - our level of life satisfaction will increase more if we spend more on sensations, than for other objects.

Moreover, constantly chasing new things We have less time to nurture relationships. I do not mean that we have to spend time to earn money for shopping, because many experiences also cost, for example, a ticketed concert.

The more we have clothes, books, china or equipment, the We have to spend more time taking care of them. Objects need to be put in order, maintenance or other treatments. And this takes our time, which can not be recreated! It can also cause additional costs. For example, silver jewelry needs to be cleaned from time to time, just as cars need to be serviced and repaired, and clothes - even unworn ones - need to be refreshed.

Objects take up space, which means that we need more and more houses or storage rooms, for example, self-service warehouses. And that means more expenses. If you have two cars, you also need two parking spaces. If we have bought a lot of clothes, books or electronic gadgets, then we need to have larger closets, which takes up more space in our homes, and so we have less space for ourselves and loved ones.

Objects can be lost, but this, What we've been through, no one can take from us anymore. This will remain in the memory regardless of whether one is rich or poor or no matter how life goes on.

Sometimes it seems to us that as soon as we buy another dream thing, our level of happiness will increase. We hope that the joy of the coveted car, clothes or electronics will last a long time. However, mechanism of hedonistic adaptation, that is, getting used to the good quickly, causes the pleasure felt, unfortunately, to diminish quickly.

The good news is that in the case of experiences hedonistic adaptation occurs more slowly than in relation to objects. In other words - although at some point we may even get used to pleasant sensations, such as eating in very good restaurants, it usually does not happen as quickly as getting used to a more expensive car, smartphone or designer clothes.

Many wonderful experiences we can provide ourselves completely free of charge. In museums, art galleries or historic buildings, we can usually visit one day a week for free. Admission to many beautiful places is free, for example to many historic churches, parks, nature reserves. Even in small towns, free cultural and sports events, open lectures, demonstrations or trainings are held. We don't have to pay to admire the sunsets and the beauty of nature whether to enjoy the time spent with loved ones. As Michał Bajor sang in the song, “I am rich”:

“Look

I'm really rich

I have stars in the sky

And you and the flowers.”

So let's make sure we are healthy balance between buying more items and taking care of a positive experience.