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How to Find Friendship in Adulthood?

Worthwhile friendship

The American Psychological Association defines friendship as a voluntary, relatively long-term relationship between two or more people, based on mutual concern for the needs of its participants and the possibility of realizing their own desires. Friendships are most often strengthened through shared experiences, which make those who participate in them perceive how satisfying their mutual company is.

Research confirms that such satisfaction has a solid foundation. Relationships based on trust significantly improve our sense of security and have a positive impact on health. Yek ji avantajên sereke kêmkirina stresê ji ber baweriya ku di demên dijwar de em dikarin li ser piştgiriya hevalên xwe hesab bikin.

The most important rules of friendly relations, which are a source of positive emotions and a sense of closeness, are:

  1. Trust and Loyalty. Trusting is fundamental to friendship because it allows both parties to be open and honest in expressing themselves. Friends share their deepest thoughts, which strengthens the bond and builds a sense of security. Fidelity and commitment to the relationship are manifested through mutual care and support — especially in difficult situations.
  2. Reciprocity and balance. A true friendship is based on reciprocity — both people are equally committed to the relationship in terms of time, energy or resources. Håndtering av harmonisk og balanse forhindrer feelser av exploitation eller inegalitet, som reinforces positiver og minimizes the risk of conflict.
  3. Independence and autonomia. A healthy friendship allows the expression of individuality and personal development of each person. A relationship where there is room for autonomy has a positive effect on our psychological well-being, motivating us to achieve goals and cultivating interests without creating dependencies — and this further strengthens the bonds between participants.
  4. Interesse comuni e valori. Similar interests and converging values help to make and strengthen friendships. Estas similaciones la stabilidad de la relation y reduz la risque de conflictes potentiales, a de discussão, crear un espacio para usar tiempo junto y más.
  5. Long-term stability and well-being. Friendships often offer more stability than romantic relationships, which — in the long run — can contribute to improved emotional well-being and an overall sense of happiness in life. While romantic relationships are not infrequently characterized by many ups and downs, friendships offer a steady source of support at different stages of life. This stability of a friendly relationship can serve as a reliable anchor for mental health, increasing the sense of security.
  6. Less dependence on romantic relationships. Research shows that strong friendships can reduce dependence on romantic relationships as the only source of emotional support. People with close friendships experience greater life satisfaction and lower levels of depression, regardless of the difficulties they experience in love relationships.
  7. Emotion Regulation and Mental Resilience. Friends help us deal with emotions by offering empathy and new perspectives related to the situation. Such emotional regulation is particularly beneficial for mental health — friends provide us with a safe space to express thoughts and feelings, contribute to building self-confidence and Immune mentale.
  8. A sense of belonging. Friendships build a sense of belonging and support the process of self-acceptance. Unlike romantic relationships, which often focus on intimacy and attachment, friendships foster social integration and identity development—especially during adolescence and early adulthood. Having a circle of friends gives us the feeling of belonging to a larger social network, which reduces the risk of social isolation.

How to find friends in adult life?

If we feel like we would like to have more friends, it's a good idea to start by increasing the number of opportunities to meet new people. This can be done in different ways. Here are some tips developed from psychological research.

  1. Slowly building friendships through repeated interactions

A key part of making new friends in adult life is repetitive, noncommittal interactions. The “ordinary exposure effect” suggests that we relate more deeply to the people and things we come into contact with regularly. Visiting places like a local coffee shop or gym, as well as attending recurring events, increases the likelihood of meeting and bonding with potential friends. Moreover, in the context of deepening existing bonds, this effect highlights how important it is to regularly spend time with people with whom we want to build a friendly relationship.

  1. Gruppenklasse

Attending group classes is one of the best ways to meet people with similar interests and make new connections. According to psychologists, joint activities provide a natural context for conversation and bonding, helping adults overcome the awkwardness that comes with new social situations. These shared experiences create points of reference that over time can serve as the basis for developing a deeper friendship.

  1. Sharing private experiences and information

A gradual sharing of personal experiences and information is another effective method of deepening new acquaintances. Research confirms that mutual self-disclosure promotes trust building and strengthening bonds. La clave es de iniciar conversaciones con un tema más información y gradualmente más historia personales. This approach encourages reciprocity, showing sincere interest in the other person and creating the foundation for a new friendship.

  1. Commitment to volunteering and social activity

A volunteer activity or membership in community organizations is another effective way to establish new relationships. Research confirms that people involved in volunteering are more likely to build social networks and feel more satisfied with their social lives. Working together often facilitates the establishment of deeper bonds, based on similar values.

A true, healthy friendship brings many benefits to our lives. It teaches an open conversation about emotions, what to help you work through them and understand them better. Friendship gives us a sense of security, giving us the certainty that in difficult times we can count on the support of those close to us, and also strengthens our self-esteem.

The benefits of friendship are multidimensional and include both emotional and health aspects. Therefore, it is worth investing time and energy in cultivating bonds with others and not giving up in seeking friendship — even if you have not had such relationships for most of your life. Therefore, if you are looking for friendship, remember that many people want the same thing. Give yourself a chance to meet someone special!

Bibliografija:

1. Vaillant G.E., Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study, Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2012.
2nd American Psychological Association, APA Dictionary of Psychology (2nd ed.), 2015.
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4. Pezirkianidis C., Galanaki E., Raftopoulou G., Moraitou D. & Stalikas A., Adult friendship and well-being: A systematic review with practical implications, Frontiers in psychology, 14, 1059057, 2023, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057
5. Deci E.L. & Ryan R.M., The “What” and “Why” of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior, Psychological Inquiry, 11 (4), 227—268, 2000, https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327965PLI1104_01
6. Selfhout M., Burk W., Branje S., Denissen J., van Aken, M., & Meeus, W., Emerging late adolescent friendship networks and Big Five personality traits: a social network approach, Journal of personality, 78 (2), 509—538, 2010, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2010.00625.x
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8. Schwartz-Mette R.A., Shankman J., Dueweke A.R., Borowski S. & Rose A.J., Relationships of friendship experiences with depressive symptoms and loneliness in childhood and adolescence: A meta-analytic review, Psychological bulletin, 146 (8), 664—700, 2020, https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000239
9. Reis H. T. & P. Shaver, Intimacy as an interpersonal process, In S. Duck, D. F. Hay, S. E. Hobfoll, W. Ickes, & B. M. Montgomery (Eds.), Handbook of personal relationships: Theory, research and interventions (pp. 367—389), John Wiley & Sons.
10. Baumeister R.F. & Leary M.R., The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation, Psychological Bulletin, 117 (3), 497—529, 1995, https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497
11. Zajonc R.B., Attitudinal effects of mere exposure, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 9 (2, Pt.2), 1—27, 1968, https://doi.org/10.1037/h0025848
12. Aron A., Melinat E., Aron E.N., Wallone R.D. & Bator R.J., The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23 (4), 363-377, 1997, https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167297234003
Collins N.L. & Miller, L.C., Self-disclosure and liking: A meta-analytic review, Psychological Bulletin, 116 (3), 457—475, 1994, https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.116.3.457
14. Son J. and Wilson J., Volunteer Work and Hedonic, Eudemonic, and Social Well-Being, Sociological Forum, 27:658-681, 2012, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1573-7861.2012.01340.x

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Opublikowano:
6.23.2025 4:07
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