How to survive Christmas with the family?

Haste increases stress and aggression!

Almost anyone who is in a hurry or acts under pressure becomes more explosive. It is easier for him to fall into a whirlpool of negative emotions. If you have little time and someone drives your way or takes an extra long time to take out goods at the checkout, you may feel more annoyed than you would on a normal day. When something stresses you out, you're more likely to become unkind to coworkers, salespeople, or a friend. So it is not surprising that, especially during the Christmas season, you see so many quarrels in shops, in the streets and in families. Even for trivial reasons! Instead of constantly chasing and “ticking off” the next tasks, slow down. Take care of relaxation and a little pleasure for yourself and your loved ones, and this will translate into a better atmosphere and less tension at Christmas.

Get some rest!

Before Christmas, we usually have an accumulation of tasks at work. Many people take vacations, so there is additional pressure to close as many topics as possible. Especially if our monthly or annual premium depends on it. If you add too many tasks to prepare for Christmas, instead of enjoying the meeting with loved ones, you will be too tired and irritated, and you will become less mentally resilient. It will be easier for you to let yourself get out of balance even with trifles.

You will do more good for yourself and your family if you take care of the right amount of sleep and relaxation than if, at the expense of your own health and nerves, you prepare as many as 12 dishes or better clean and decorate the house...

Do not accept invitations to anger

Unfortunately, in almost every family there are people who get pleasure from biting others. They provoke, hook, try to drag you into verbal skirmishes. They send an “invitation to anger” in this way. The more they hurt someone, the more amusing it for them.

If you do not have the opportunity to avoid the company of these toxic people, then at least do not get sucked into these games. Do not forget that they are masters at it, they have decades of experience in teasing. Don't count on fixing them. A man must want to change himself. This applies both to addictions or bad habits, and to stop hurting others.

The best method is to ignore the hitches and pay attention to those guests who behave sympathetically. I know how hard it is to stop bouncing the ball. However, remember that you will only lose energy and good mood.

Be careful what you say

It is not possible to “undo the words that are shouted out”. It's hard to forgive, and even harder to apologize. Therefore, before you say something or write an sms in anger, think about what consequences this may have for the relationship. This advice should be taken to heart by choleric people in particular, for they are the ones who are most inclined to speak before they think.

Do not compare yourself with others

One of the main reasons for stress and negative emotions during family gatherings is that we compare ourselves with others. Do not compare your earnings, car, appearance or life with others. Intervene immediately when someone in the family uses messages to your child such as: “What grades do you have at school? Because my second granddaughter, or the neighbor's daughter, gets only Fridays/goes to tennis lessons/knew how to read at the age of x.”

Take this person to the page and explain why such words are harmful. Ask not to feed children with such comparisons. About why it is so destructive, you will read in my article Why Toxic Comparisons With Others Lower Your Life Satisfaction.

Schedule tasks

Every year we see people frantically running around the shops just before Christmas. While bread, fish, meat or fruit cannot actually be bought well in advance, we can take care of gifts, decorations or a Christmas tablecloth much earlier. We will save ourselves the stress and standing in long queues.

Prepare a list of things you need for Christmas at least 3 weeks in advance. Hang it in a visible place, for example on the refrigerator and write it down as soon as you remember the next task. Then group (or mark with colors) what you can prepare in advance. For example: make sure that the clothes you plan to wear do not need to be washed, or that last year's Santa outfit, tablecloths or reeds are still usable - instead of desperately running around the shops on Christmas Eve in search of replacements.

Make an accurate list of all the foods you will need. It is best if, after writing it “out of your head”, you go through the recipes you are going to use and make sure that you have not forgotten anything. This will avoid the situation when, in the process of baking the cake, it turns out that the spice for the gingerbread is missing.

Have realistic expectations

Remember that commercials and videos using the Christmas theme show a world that does not really exist! Everyone is nice and smiling. Even if there were conflicts or problems at the beginning, the ending is always happy. People forgive themselves. They fix mistakes and relationships. They support each other and cope with difficulties together. At the end we have a picture of a perfect and happy family at a table set in a beautiful house.

Unfortunately, in real life this usually does not look like this. The more frosted the image you create, the more disappointed you will be when reality deviates from it. Expecting too much of yourself and others will cause frustration. For example: if someone in the family is always stingy, do not count that just before this Christmas he underwent a deep inner transformation, understood how much he hurt others so far and will now be kind. If you yourself had a hard time at work before Christmas and were further overwhelmed by the burden of household chores, it will be more difficult for you to be as joyful and patient with others as you would like. I explained this mechanism in more detail in the article Expectations versus reality — how not to fall into the trap of your imagination.

Show understanding to yourself and others

Despite your efforts, something can always go wrong. You or another person will not master the desire to “bite off” in a conversation. You will bring up a topic that you know will unleash a storm. Someone will forget to take the promised cake with them. Instead of getting annoyed, try in this situation to focus on the fact that you or this person did not have bad intentions. No one is perfect.

Think about what is really important!

Unfortunately, too often at Christmas we are so consumed with tasks and the desire to prepare perfect dishes that we forget that Christmas is not meant to be used to eat and admire the beautiful decorations and the sparkling cleanliness of the house. It should be a meeting of people close to each other and spending time together!

Come to terms with the fact that you failed to complete all the tasks. In the hustle and bustle of professional work and everyday duties, it is difficult to take care of every detail. Instead of getting annoyed that there are not 12 dishes on the table, enjoy the moment!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas spent in a warm and supportive atmosphere:)