Macho Culture or Sensitivity? How to Develop Male Emotionality

The impact of macho culture in the 20th century

For centuries, Western societies have shaped their perception of masculinity based on emotional restraint. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, the prevailing belief was that typical, normative male behavior involved not showing feelings. Men were viewed as providers and protectors of the family, and a lack of sensitivity combined with high self-control were seen as traits that supported both roles. Conversely, expressing emotions excessively was considered inappropriate.

The contemporary understanding of masculinity is still based on the assumption that it is innate and tied to biological sex. In reality, however, masculinity is more of a social construct than a biological one. Expecting every man to possess a specific set of traits that fit a culturally created mold can be harmful and result in negative consequences for quality of life and mental health.

The emergence of "macho culture" in the mid-20th century reinforced restrictive emotional norms for men. Cultural phenomena, such as those highlighted in Westerns and the promotion of the "tough guy" persona, cultivated physical prowess and the suppression of emotions. Emotional sensitivity was equated with weakness, making the suppression of feelings a desirable trait and a way to cope with emotions like sadness or grief. These expectations resulted in higher rates of emotional isolation among men, which researchers link to mental health issues that can lead to conditions such as depression.

Psychological consequences of suppressing emotions

Although stereotypical perceptions of masculinity remain common, numerous studies show that perpetuating a model of masculinity based on the idea that "boys don't cry" places a psychological burden on men and has real consequences for their well-being. Suppressing emotions has been linked to alexithymia—a difficulty in identifying and expressing feelings—which affects men more often than women. It has also been shown that men who adhere to traditional norms of masculinity are more likely to engage in harmful coping mechanisms during crises, such as aggression, rather than openly confronting their emotions. Striving to maintain a "tough guy" image leads to numerous problems, such as:

1. Increased risk of depression and anxiety disorders

Suppressing natural emotions like sadness, fear, or vulnerability can lead to the accumulation of unresolved feelings, which negatively impacts mental health. Research indicates that men who rigidly adhere to traditional masculine norms experience symptoms of depression and anxiety more frequently but are less likely to recognize them. Suppressing emotions often manifests as irritability, aggression, or withdrawal. 

2. Higher suicide rates

Globally, men are significantly more likely to die by suicide than women. For example, in the United States, men account for 79% of all suicides. A key cause of this disparity is the inability to express emotions and the fear associated with seeking mental health care. Studies show that men who live in accordance with traditional masculine norms are less likely to disclose suicidal thoughts or seek professional help, which further exacerbates the problem.

3. Poorer physical health

Chronic suppression of emotions negatively impacts physical health by intensifying physiological stress responses. Long-term stress contributes to issues such as cardiovascular disease and a weakened immune system. Men who avoid dealing with emotional distress are also more prone to engaging in risky behaviors, such as smoking or excessive alcohol consumption, which further harms their physical health.

How can men develop emotional intelligence?

Research shows that men seek mental health support significantly less often than women. This hinders the development of coping strategies and the cultivation of emotional intelligence – the ability to understand and use emotional information in cognitive processes (e.g., in thinking, information processing, decision-making, etc.). Nevertheless, there are ways to help men develop this skill. These include:

1. Redefining norms of masculinity through education and awareness

One of the first steps in caring for men's well-being is redefining rigid norms of masculinity. Educational programs and campaigns can encourage society to reflect on how we think about manhood. For example, it has been shown that workshops or so-called men's circles, which challenge traditional stereotypes and encourage men to discuss their feelings in a safe, non-judgmental environment, increase openness and self-awareness. Such initiatives help men understand that emotional intelligence is a useful competency rather than a weakness, and that emotions are a part of human nature.

2. Practicing emotional competencies

Developing emotional skills, such as understanding and naming one's feelings, is a key component of emotional intelligence. These competencies can be practiced and developed by recording emotions in a journal and rating their intensity numerically. Answering the following questions can be helpful in this training:

• What emotion am I feeling right now?
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how sad am I?
• What exactly made me feel sad?
• What thoughts are associated with this emotion?
• What am I feeling in my body right now?

This process helps identify emotions and reduces the fear of experiencing them. Research shows that improving emotional skills has a positive impact on relationships with others and reduces the tendency to suppress emotions.

3. Cultivating self-compassion skills

Self-compassion is the ability to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during moments of failure or emotional distress. It can lead to developing sensitivity and improving mental well-being by reducing the tendency toward excessive self-criticism.

Despite growing awareness of the harm caused by traditional perceptions of masculinity, old patterns remain prevalent. In cultural, social, and business contexts, men still face stigma when they show vulnerability. Solving this problem requires systemic changes in how we raise and educate children.

However, it seems that younger generations are increasingly accepting of greater emotional expression. It is worth working to promote the idea of redefining masculinity to include both strength and emotional authenticity. Such an approach will help relieve the pressure on men that negatively affects their mental health and quality of life.

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