The snowflake generation

Rodzicie - Helicopters created a generation of Snowflakes

Psychologists and sociologists warn that the psychological condition of children and adolescents is getting worse. This is clearly shown both by official statistics and conversations with teachers, psychologists and doctors, and other specialists working with children. According to the 2021 Polish EZOP survey, “Every 8th child between the ages of 7 and 17 has experienced mental disorders. This translates into more than half a million children and adolescents affected by them[1].”

Lockdown, remote teaching and online work, and pervasive uncertainty have further exacerbated problems that have existed before. Subsequent economic crises and the pandemic were overlaid by the harmful effects of the way in which some parents raised their children, although they had good intentions and felt that they were probably guided by the welfare of the children.

In each successive generation, some of the people were more vulnerable and mentally weaker. The neuroticity-mental resilience axis is one of the levels of the Big Five Personality Traits. However, over the past dozen years, the number of young people suffering from depression, anxiety disorders, suicide attempts, and unable to cope in their personal and professional lives has increased.

Parents — Helicopters are overprotective parents, who all the time “hang” over the child, carefully watch every step and remove even minor obstacles from the way. The destructive effect of such exaggerated protection of children from the world I described in the article What are the effects of overprotection and raising children by “helicopter parents”?. One of the consequences is the development in children of increased mental fragility, low self-esteem and emotional dependence on parents, which can last even into adulthood. “Studies have shown that overprotection adversely affects the development of cognitive and socio-emotional abilities. Scientific analyses also confirm, that adult children of overprotective parents have low self-esteem and a lower sense of worth, lack self-confidence and resilience necessary to face life's challenges.”[2].

Snowflake Generation (snowflake generation) — this term has come into widespread use and even appeared in the prestigious Collins Dictionary[3]. It refers to people who entered adulthood in 2010 or later and are perceived as less resilient and more vulnerable than previous generations. The snowflake is tender and melts on the palm of your hand. Of course, I want to clearly emphasize that not every person of this generation has low mental resilience. I just want to show a growing social trend.

What can be the causes of overprotection?

Low fertility causes parents to invest their broadly understood resources—not just monetary, but also time, emotions, engagement—in statistically fewer and fewer children. Since “the fertility rate in Poland in 2020 was 1,378 children and this is the lowest result since 2016.”[4], then all the energy and love of parents is directed most often only to one or two children. Unfortunately, too their expectations and fears are directed by parents to the decreasing number of offspring. They fear for a child and expect success statistically even more than when people had an average of 2-3 children, so they also did not have enough time to constantly follow their every step. It is therefore understandable that today the thought that something could happen to the child or that he will not fulfill the hopes placed in him, for many parents, can be downright paralyzing. This fear turns even more on the desire to protect the child at all costs and prompts to remove all inconveniences from his path.

Professor Jordan Peterson, a Canadian clinical psychologist, lecturer and author of bestselling books such as “The 12 Rules of Life”, emphasizes that treating children as an “investment” or “life project”, combined with excessive protection of the child from natural stresses and problems that life brings, causes They become even more vulnerable, fearful, and unbelieving in themselves.

Professor Peterson also points out that, statistically, women now give birth much later than in previous generations. People in their 30s or 40s tend to be more aware of risks and various dangers than when they were in their 20s. Having children at a later age naturally, many parents see more dangerous situations and try to prevent them in advance. In Poland in 2019, the average age of a mother giving birth to her first child was 27.6 years and was close to the average in the European Union.[5]

It is well known that if any part of the body is not forced to exert effort, it becomes weaker and weaker. This is what happens, for example, with a leg in a cast. It is also easy to observe that if the plant is supported from the beginning, it does not develop a strong enough stem and, once the support is removed, it is not able to support itself. This mechanism also applies to mental development.

Psychologists point out that going through difficult situations allows you to develop strategies for effective action, get to know yourself and gain confidence in your own competencies and actions (meaning a sense of influence on life). Without proper mental training, it is difficult to build resilience.

I often hear from clients that they initially did not believe that they would be able to cope with some personal or professional challenge. However, they were usually able to find within themselves the strength to act and accomplish things that seemed beyond their reach. It is precisely such moments that allow you to enter a higher level of personal development, build a stable self-esteem and strengthen mental resilience. A constructive transition of crises can even result in so-called post-crisis growth.

That is why it is so important that parents maintain a healthy balance between supporting and protecting children and allowing them to gain their own experiences and confronting difficult situations. Make mistakes and learn from them. Fall down and stand on your own feet. Thanks to this, children have a chance to strengthen their psychological immunity. I have provided more tips in the article 7 skills that parents should teach children to be happy.

1. Comprehensive study of the state of mental health of society and its determinants — EZOP II” coordinated by the Institute of Psychiatry and Neurology in Warsaw https://ezop.edu.pl/
2. Unique, unique, too delicate. What is the generation of snowflakes? https://mamadu.pl/162274,unikalni-delikatni-wyjatkowi-jakie-jest-pokolenie-platkow-sniegu
3. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/snowflake-generation
4. Data of the Central Statistical Office “Poland in numbers 2021" https://stat.gov.pl/
5. Motherhood only after thirty, https://forsal.pl/gospodarka/demografia/artykuly/8108578,pierwsze-dziecko-wiek-kobiet-polska-europa-dane-eurostatu.html