The snowflake generation

Helicopter parents have created a generation of Snowflakes

Psychologists and sociologists are sounding the alarm: the mental health of children and adolescents is in steady decline. This is clearly evidenced by official statistics, as well as conversations with teachers, psychologists, doctors, and other professionals working with children. According to the 2021 Polish EZOP study, "One in eight children aged 7–17 has experienced mental health disorders. This translates to over half a million children and adolescents affected by them[1]."

Lockdowns, remote learning, online work, and all-encompassing uncertainty have further exacerbated problems that were already present. The recurring economic crises and the pandemic have been compounded by the harmful effects of certain parenting styles—even though these parents had good intentions and likely believed they were acting in their children's best interests.

In every generation, some individuals have been more sensitive and psychologically vulnerable. The neuroticism-resilience axis is one of the dimensions of the Big Five personality traits. However, over the last dozen years or so, there has been an increase in the number of young people suffering from depression, anxiety disorders, and suicide attempts, as well as those struggling to cope with their personal and professional lives.

Helicopter parents are overprotective parents who constantly "hover" over their child, closely monitoring every step and removing even the smallest obstacles from their path. I described the destructive impact of such excessive shielding of children from the world in my article What are the consequences of overprotectiveness and being raised by "helicopter parents"?. One of the consequences is precisely the development of increased psychological fragility, low self-esteem, and emotional dependence on parents, which can persist well into adulthood. "Studies have shown that overprotectiveness negatively affects the development of cognitive and socio-emotional skills. Scientific analyses also confirm that adult children of overprotective parents have lower self-esteem and a diminished sense of self-worth; they lack the self-confidence and resilience needed to face life's challenges"[2].

The Snowflake Generation — this term has entered common usage and has even appeared in the prestigious Collins Dictionary[3]It refers to people who reached adulthood in 2010 or later and are perceived as less resilient and more easily offended than previous generations. A snowflake is delicate and melts in your hand. Of course, I want to emphasize clearly that not every person of this generation has low psychological resilience. I only mean to point out a certain growing social trend.

What could be the causes of overparenting?

Low fertility rates mean that parents invest their broadly defined resources—not just money, but also time, emotions, and commitment—into a statistically smaller number of children. Since the "fertility rate in Poland in 2020 was 1.378 children, which is the lowest result since 2016,"[4], all the parents' energy and love is most often directed at only one or two children. Unfortunately, parents also direct their expectations and anxieties toward their decreasing number of offspring. They worry about their child and expect success from them to an even greater degree than when people had an average of 2–3 children, and thus did not have as much time to constantly track their every move. It is understandable, then, that the thought of something happening to their child or that they might not live up to the hopes placed in them can be downright paralyzing for many parents. This fear further fuels the desire to protect the child at all costs and leads to removing any inconveniences from their path.

Prof. Jordan Peterson, a Canadian clinical psychologist, lecturer, and author of bestselling books including "12 Rules for Life," emphasizes that treating children as an "investment" or a "life project," combined with excessively shielding them from the natural stresses and problems that life brings, causes them to become even more sensitive, fearful, and lacking in self-confidence.

Professor Peterson also points out the fact that, statistically, women are now giving birth to children much later than in previous generations. People in their thirties or forties are usually more aware of risks and various dangers than they were at 20. By having children at a later age, many parents naturally see more dangerous situations and try to prevent them in advance. In Poland, in 2019, the average age of a mother giving birth to her first child was 27.6 years, which was close to the European Union average.[5]

It is common knowledge that if a part of the body is not forced to exert effort, it becomes increasingly weak. This happens, for example, with a leg in a cast. It is also easy to observe that if a plant is supported from the beginning, it does not develop a sufficiently strong stem and, once the support is removed, it is unable to hold itself up. This mechanism also applies to psychological development.

Psychologists emphasize that going through difficult situations allows one to develop effective coping strategies, get to know oneself, and gain confidence in one's own competencies and agency (i.e., the sense of having an impact on one's life). Without proper mental training, it is difficult to build resilience.

I often hear from clients that initially, they did not believe they would be able to handle a personal or professional challenge. However, they were usually able to find the strength to act and achieve things that seemed beyond their reach. It is precisely these moments that allow one to reach a higher level of personal development, build a stable sense of self-worth, and strengthen psychological resilience. Constructively navigating crises can even result in what is known as post-traumatic growth.

That is why it is so important for parents they maintained a healthy balance between supporting and protecting their children and allowing them to gain their own experiences and confront difficult situations. To make mistakes and learn from them. To fall and get back on their own feet. Thanks to this, children have the chance to build resilience. I have included more tips in the article 7 skills parents should teach their children to help them be happy.

Bibliography

1. Comprehensive study of the mental health of the population and its determinants – EZOP II, coordinated by the Institute of Psychiatry and Neurology in Warsaw https://ezop.edu.pl/
2. Unique, exceptional, too fragile. What is the snowflake generation? https://mamadu.pl/162274,unikalni-delikatni-wyjatkowi-jakie-jest-pokolenie-platkow-sniegu
3. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/snowflake-generation
4. Statistics Poland data "Poland in numbers 2021" https://stat.gov.pl/
5. Motherhood only after thirty, https://forsal.pl/gospodarka/demografia/artykuly/8108578,pierwsze-dziecko-wiek-kobiet-polska-europa-dane-eurostatu.html