7 skills that will make your child happy

Almost every parent wants their children to navigate life well, have a sense of self-worth, and feel happy. Here are 7 skills that are among the most valuable things you can pass on to your child.

1. Managing difficult emotions, such as anger, rage, sadness, bitterness, and feelings of rejection. Life is not a bed of roses. Even if parents try to remove every obstacle or unpleasantness from their child's path, they still cannot protect them from painful situations and emotions. It is better, therefore, to prepare the child to handle them constructively. Let us remember that feeling unpleasant emotions is normal, while suppressing them leads to additional suffering.
2. Learning to tolerate frustration. When parents immediately satisfy every whim of a child, the child has no opportunity to learn how to deal with frustration, irritation, or impatience. No one gets everything they want. Others do not always meet our expectations. Even if our dreams eventually come true, it will take a lot of time and effort. If parents do not teach their children how to cope with frustration when they do not get what they care about, they are doing them a great disservice. People with low frustration tolerance tend to get irritated, are overcome by negative emotions, blame others, and give up too quickly when things do not go their way. They have trouble acting consistently or give up on challenges altogether.
3. Bouncing back from failure. Even people who have achieved stunning success have also tasted the bitterness of failure. Even geniuses had many failed attempts to their name before they made a breakthrough. In any competition, more people lose than stand on the podium. If parents tell a child that they are a "born winner," that person has little chance of achieving anything. Even if they are exceptionally talented, they will give up at the first sign of adversity. The greatest tragedy occurs when a child is so unable to bear failure or rejection that they attempt suicide. It is extremely important for parents to maintain a healthy balance between supporting the child, recognizing their potential, providing positive feedback, and strengthening a high sense of self-worth, while also shaping a realistic self-image and preparing them for the fact that no one wins all the time. Not even the most outstanding individuals! Unfortunately, it happens that when a child grows up with the belief that they "will always be a winner," they experience any failures—which inevitably appear in everyone's life—very painfully. Sometimes, when faced with problems in achieving a goal, their self-worth completely collapses because it was built on unrealistic expectations of themselves and the world.
4. Willingness to make decisions and accept their consequences. Life consists of making decisions. Some of them will affect our entire lives—for example, choosing a career, a life partner, or taking out a loan. If parents do not allow a child to make age-appropriate decisions, do not confront the child with the consequences of their actions, or worse, ridicule them when they make a mistake, they will instill in the child a paralyzing fear of taking responsibility for their own life and a lack of self-confidence. They may even lead to the development of learned helplessness or a so-called dependent personality, which is characterized by the need to be under someone's care even in adulthood, being extremely submissive, having difficulty making even everyday decisions, and lacking self-trust. Some of our decisions will be wrong, and that cannot be eliminated. It is therefore worth shaping in a child the ability to make independent choices, learn from mistakes, and maintain a sense of self-worth even in the face of failure.
5. Psychological resilience and the ability to cope with stress. It is a fact that we differ in our level of stress resistance. From birth, we can observe that some people are more sensitive, or even neurotic, while others function much better in difficult situations. However, regardless of how strong a trait our neuroticism is, the patterns learned at home and working on oneself play a huge role in building psychological resilience. There are many ways in which parents can help their children strengthen their mental resilience, their ability to cope in difficult situations, and their ability to bounce back from emotional crises.
6. A high and stable sense of self-worth. Many of the personal and professional problems that my clients come to me with actually stem from a low or unstable sense of self-worth and making it dependent on the opinions of others. Strong self-esteem is not narcissism, self-absorption, or an unrealistic belief in one's own greatness.
7. Healthy optimism. It has nothing to do with blind optimism or wishful thinking. Healthy optimism is not about denying problems, believing uncritically in only good outcomes, or waiting for a miracle. As Professor Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology, wrote: "Positive thinking is not a shield that protects us from evil, but a tool that allows us to regain faith more quickly that a rough patch will soon end if we take active steps to deal with the problem." Wisely understood, optimism is based on a realistic assessment of the situation, a positive attitude, and the belief that it is worth trying and taking action—rather than expecting the "universe to take care of everything for us."

If we do not develop these attitudes in childhood, it will be very difficult for us in adulthood. We will experience a great deal of unnecessary pain and bitterness. Parents can either help us develop these competencies or hinder the process.

Of course, we can build these skills at any stage of life—even in our later years. However, it becomes an increasingly difficult and long-term process over time. It is therefore worth equipping children with these assets, as they will pay off throughout their lives and save them a great deal of suffering.