8 steps to greater self-confidence

Beata and Magda had one goal that day — to present their projects to the boss. Both prepared perfectly, and their ideas stood at an equally high level. Beata traditionally performed excellently, even a few stumbling blocks when discussing the data, did not knock her off the beat. Magda was much worse. Nervous, she couldn't even plug in the computer and then bulged out her presentation staring at the notes. Her idea was gone, and she herself felt just awful.

This is of course only a hypothetical situation, but at the same time the everyday life of many people struggling with lack of self-confidence. Often much better prepared in terms of content, having great ideas, but extremely unsure of their value, employees remain without promotion for years and their proposals are not implemented. The same is true in the private sphere — greater faith in oneself, success, but also confidence in one's own decisions, the ability to force them, are extremely important components of success. Whether it's creating a successful relationship, learning a language, getting something done in the office or efficiently carrying out renovations.

Confidence is like a car that will get us to our destination. And like any car, it requires proper handling, but also constant care that everything works correctly. For it is not given in some mysterious way only to the elect, and once and for all. It changes over the course of life and requires constant training. Fortunately, this means that even for shy Magda there is a chance to “sell” her idea next time.

Start by writing out your own merits

It will be a good idea listing your strengths. A trusted person can help with this if we are afraid that low self-esteem will not allow us to think objectively. The next step is to read this list with understanding, to find examples where, for example, our analytical abilities have given us a real advantage. Here, too, you can count on the help of friends.

Build your own comfort zone

We already know the strengths, now it's time to preparation of what gives us strength and “brings happiness.” A favorite shirt in which we look extremely good, that special cup that we always want to have on hand and maybe comfortable shoes that will make us stand more confident when giving a speech. We all have our rituals, talismans, and superstitions — though it sounds like magic, it's a perfectly normal reaction. Appropriate clothing has long been used by people to emphasize hierarchy and build their position, and “talismans” are an expression of our mind's natural tendency to seek patterns and connections, even where there are none. So, if something several times “brought us happiness”, now it will strengthen the confidence of success.

Plan achievements in small steps

Another piece of advice requires a little patience. In fact, we are talking about Slow down and set smaller goals that are easier to achieve. Such small steps will make us ultimately have more victories or experiences on the account, building confidence regularly.

Celebrate and remember every success

It is important that every such success, even symbolic, be duly celebrated and enjoyed. Let's forget about the “self” that takes away from us. Not “I did it right”, but “I did it right.” Not “I succeeded in the presentation”, but “I presented it brilliantly.” Let's appreciate each other and emphasize our merits.

Treat failure as an experience

What if we need a leg on the way to our destination? Well, It is worth considering failures as a normal stage and drawing appropriate conclusions from them. Thus, we become experts, ready for various situations, even those that incorrect optimists will not be able to predict. This in turn builds confidence - we already know that we can cope even in a difficult moment. So what to be afraid of?

Visualizing Success Works Wonders

If we are optimistic, he too can prove to be our great ally. It is worth visualizing victory, affirming success. Of course, there is no magical power in this, nor does it make “the universe begin to favor us.” However, we gain a strong ally in our own mind — putting a goal within reach, making it more real will result in us beginning to perceive it as easier to achieve. This, in turn, has a positive effect on self-confidence.

Learn to say “no”

Self-confidence is also assertiveness and the ability to set limits. Both can be trained, but nothing—even the best course—can replace practice here. The art of saying “no” where necessary, in an empathetic way, is an almost crucial competence these days. How to acquire it?

Just get started. From the simplest situations, when we feel comfortable, to little by little more and more difficult. Practice makes perfect, even in this case. Let us remember, of course, simple courtesy. Confidence is not arrogance. Calmly, matter-of-fact saying “I can't take care of it now”, “it doesn't suit me”, “willingly, but not now”, initially for some of us will be an act of real courage. Gradually, however, it will turn into a routine.

Use the help of a specialist

Unfortunately, even the best advice doesn't help. Then the reasons for lack of self-confidence and impaired self-esteem are worth looking deeper. Properly selected therapy can work wonders in this matter, because we will get to the cause of the problem and eliminate it at the source. And that alone will be a unique success that is worth celebrating.

Confidence in a nutshell:

• List your strengths and analyze them.
• Bet on rituals and talismans - this is not magic, but the action of your mind.
• Set small goals and appreciate every step.
• Learn to celebrate and reward your successes. Memorize them.
• Treat failures as lessons, not evidence that you are worse off.
• Visualize victory and affirm it.
• Start saying “no” and setting boundaries.
• If you can't do it yourself — consult a specialist!