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Communication is an inseparable part of our daily lives. We exchange dozens of pieces of information—at work, at home, on the street, and online. However, communication is more than just words. It also includes gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and sometimes even silence. This becomes especially important in intergenerational relationships, where differences in experience and values can hinder mutual understanding. Learn how to build empathy and bridge the generational gap—especially in the workplace.
How can you improve your communication?
The ability to communicate effectively and connect with others has a huge impact on a person's quality of life and the building of interpersonal bonds. Why is that?
First of all, our lives consist primarily of encounters with others, and these are based on the ability to communicate. You cannot build a family, friendly, or professional relationship without talking about yourself and understanding what the other person is conveying to you. The durability of the bonds we form with those around us depends on both the scope and the quality of our communication.
Second, communication is not just about exchanging information. The way we communicate also reflects the type of bond we share with others. How we speak and how we listen says a lot about our attitude toward the person we are talking to. You can listen to someone's story in a way that makes them feel respected and understood, or conversely, judged and criticized.
Third, it is impossible to function in society without some form of communication. Whenever we meet another person, we express something—through words, our posture, facial expressions, gaze, and sometimes even silence. We communicate even when we are not fully aware of it. Interestingly, avoiding contact with others can often take on a troubling form, such as the "silent treatment" in a romantic relationship.
It is safe to say, then, that we communicate using almost everything around us. None of us can completely avoid contact with others. It is also worth emphasizing that when we use the word "communication," we mean not only the exchange of information but also a continuous process. We are constantly sending and receiving signals, and the vast majority of this exchange takes place outside of our conscious awareness. Furthermore, people who, for various reasons, have difficulty speaking honestly and openly about their experiences most often use:
- non-verbal communication – e.g., gestures, facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice.
- indirect communication conveying information, for example, via media or intermediary tools such as a phone, instant messenger, or email, while avoiding direct face-to-face contact.
The way we relate to others reflects our inner selves – if someone is aggressive, they will communicate in exactly that way. To a large extent, this is a matter of our personality, not just knowledge of the rules of proper communication. What does this mean in practice? If our goal is to change flawed communication habits, we must first focus on a positive transformation of our own personality. This, in turn, is a demanding and difficult task. Nevertheless, it is worth undertaking to improve your relationships with those around you, build stronger bonds with loved ones and in the workplace, and consequently, increase the quality of your life.
Empathy, or the art of listening
Interpersonal communication is based on two key roles that speakers should take turns performing. These are the ability to speak and the ability to listen to what the other person is saying. In his book "The Psychology of Communication," Father Marek Drzewiecki jokingly states that there are three basic conditions that must be met for our communication methods to be mature and harmonious: "First, you must learn to listen. Second, you must... learn to listen. Third, you must... learn to listen." Paradoxically, the most important skill in the art of communication is not speaking, but the ability to listen attentively to what the other person is saying. This means that you cannot master the correct way of expressing yourself without first learning to understand others and what they are saying to us.
At the same time, it turns out that the ability to listen correctly is not as simple as it might seem. It is not just about hearing, because a functioning sense of hearing is enough for that, but about the ability to listen. Our ears give us the ability to register incoming sounds. However, this is not synonymous with being able to listen to what the speaker is saying and understand the inner world they want to tell us about. This is strongly linked to empathy, a term that everyone who wants to build deep relationships and communicate in a mature way should know.
According to the PWN online dictionary of the Polish language, empathy is "the ability to empathize with the inner state of another person." Why do we focus on it so much? Because it is a key element of effective communication – it allows for a better understanding of the speaker's emotions, needs, and point of view. As a result, it fosters trust, helps avoid conflicts, and creates deeper interpersonal relationships.
How do generations differ from one another?
The report "The Truth About Generations," produced jointly by Ipsos and MullenLowe Media, shows that age is one of the main filters through which we view people's opinions and behaviors. Like education or gender, age allows us to see certain patterns in human attitudes. And although age is important, it explains little on its own – to fully understand the diversity of human experiences, it is necessary to look at this factor in a broader context. Only by treating age as part of a larger whole, embedded in a social, cultural, and individual context, will we be able to understand another person and their choices.
In her book "Generations," Jean M. Twenge notes that the dizzying pace of cultural change means that growing up in today's world differs significantly from doing so in the 1950s, 1980s, or even the first decade of the 21st century. These changes are very clear. The era in which we are born influences our behaviors, attitudes, personality traits, and values – it has a stronger impact than family.
Differences dependent on the year of birth are most easily seen between individual generations. The term "generation" originally referred mainly to family relationships – for example, in the context of a multi-generational family that included grandparents, parents, and children. However, in recent decades, its meaning has broadened. Today, it is increasingly used in reference to social generations, meaning people born during the same period who share a common cultural background, historical experiences, or lifestyle characteristic of that era.
Today, the United States is home to six generations:
- The Silent Generation – which includes people born between 1925 and 1945.
- Baby Boomers – the generation born between 1946 and 1964.
- Generation X – people born between 1965 and 1979.
- Millennials (Generation Y) – born between 1980 and 1994.
- Generation Z (also known as iGen or Zoomers), meaning people born between 1995 and 2012.
- The generation born after 2013, which does not yet have an official name, although some marketing specialists refer to it as "Generation Alpha."
It is worth noting that generations are not a phenomenon reserved only for the United States. Generational divisions exist in many other countries around the world, though they differ slightly due to cultural specifics. In Poland, however, the situation is very similar.
Why are we talking about this at all? Because awareness of the differences resulting from growing up in different generations is important for understanding relationships in the family or in the workplace (as well as in mental health, marketing, or politics).
Knowledge of these differences shapes ways of thinking, values, communication styles, and expectations of the world. For example, in family relationships, awareness of different approaches to upbringing or technology allows for a better understanding of why grandparents, parents, and children may perceive the same situations in completely different ways. In the workplace, it helps build rapport between younger and older employees who have different work styles, motivations, and attitudes toward authority.
How can we build intergenerational empathy and understanding in the workplace?
Building intergenerational empathy and understanding in the workplace is essential given the increasing age diversity of teams, which is primarily due to two reasons: first, the aging of society, and second, cultural changes taking place in the labor market.
Employees representing different generations—from Baby Boomers to Gen Z—bring different values, work styles, needs, and expectations of the organization to the team. A lack of proper communication can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. Therefore, it is extremely important to create conditions for mutual understanding. As Agnieszka Stein, author of publications on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and the book "Communication. The Path to Understanding Yourself and Others," notes, empathy is not just about showing compassion, but above all, it is the ability to listen actively, taking into account the needs and feelings of the other person – regardless of their age or life experience.
Meanwhile, psychological reports, such as studies by the Gallup Institute, indicate that age-diverse teams are more likely to achieve better results. However, the condition for this is basing cooperation on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. This, in turn, requires willingness, communication skills, and targeted actions, such as creating space for intergenerational dialogue, implementing reverse mentoring (where both older and younger employees learn from each other), organizing workshops to develop communication and emotional competencies, and promoting an attitude of curiosity instead of judgment or criticism.
Intergenerational rituals in the workplace
We already know that intergenerational understanding is possible—all it takes is empathy, openness, and a bit of goodwill. Furthermore, there are certain rituals worth introducing in the workplace to bridge the generations. We are talking about regular, joint team-building activities that build relationships and foster the exchange of experience between employees of different ages.
These can be weekly team meetings or departmental status updates, where ideas can be exchanged and a sense of community can be built. Workshops and training sessions focused on communication, personal development, or teamwork have a positive impact on relationships.
Many people emphasize that a better atmosphere at work and bridging the generations is also influenced by mutual learning and knowledge sharing. We are talking about intergenerational mentoring, where older employees support younger ones, and the latter share fresh ideas and modern solutions in return.
Daily, informal rituals are also very important, such as shared lunch, coffee, or tea breaks, which foster the integration of different generations. Similarly, celebrating successes, birthdays, name days, or welcoming new employees creates an atmosphere of closeness.
These rituals are an effective way to strengthen a sense of belonging. At the same time, they create an opportunity to open up to diversity and, above all, build a more integrated, empathetic organizational culture. Let us remember that intergenerational cooperation is not about standardization, but about finding common ground. Differences between people do not have to divide; on the contrary, they can enrich. Even humor can connect rather than divide if it stems from kindness.
6 principles of intergenerational communication
According to Stephen Covey, author of bestselling books on personal development and effective habits, interpersonal relationships can be compared to a bank account from which you can make deposits or withdrawals. Every word and gesture in an interaction with another person is like a deposit or a withdrawal from that account. It is important, however, to first accumulate some savings—positive relationships that will serve as a reserve for more difficult moments. The more demanding the conversation, the greater the injection of optimism and good energy needed in such situations.
Talking to another person is a way to solve problems and handle various matters, but it also contributes to accumulating funds in your relationship account that will be needed in tougher situations. Some of us are convinced that saying nice things is unnecessary and expressing obvious facts is completely pointless. Meanwhile, Agnieszka Stein encourages exactly this kind of communication because it effectively strengthens the relationship. A person who hears friendly words from us becomes more gentle and open. Why, then, shouldn't we say such things to people at work as well?
Discover 6 principles to help you ensure empathetic and kind communication in your team:
First – let’s not be afraid to say nice, positive things. Words of appreciation, rather than judgment, have the power to build relationships regardless of age. Let’s appreciate, not complain. For example, when an older employee says to a younger colleague, "I'm impressed by how efficiently you handled that Excel file – I'm learning from you," she will feel appreciated and will most likely respond in a friendly way, e.g., "Thank you, and I, in turn, admire the calm with which you handle difficult conversations."
Second – let’s listen carefully before we respond. An example? When one employee proposes a solution and another shakes their head, saying it's not quite a good idea, it's worth asking: "Tell me more about that – what exactly would you like to show there?" or "Let's think about how we can combine this idea with our strategy."
Third – let’s use language that is understandable to the recipient. A younger colleague who is tech-savvy, when talking to an older person about an Instagram campaign, should explain everything in a simple way. A good example would be a Millennial talking about a campaign: "We'll post a teaser and do a Q&A on stories. Then it gets a boost." An older coworker might not understand this message. Instead of technical jargon, one could say: "First, we will publish a preview, then a Q&A session on Instagram, and later we will launch a paid promotion."
Fourth – instead of generalizing, let’s ask questions. Instead of saying, "Young people are always in such a rush...", it is better to ask: "I noticed that you like to work quickly. How do you think the project will benefit from this approach?" Curiosity and questions create space for conversation.
Fifth – let’s respect differences instead of fighting them. Showing respect for a different pace, work style, or priorities is an important element of mutual understanding. A younger person usually acts dynamically and reacts quickly, while an older one functions a bit more slowly and needs more time for analysis. You can then suggest: "I know you like to think things through – that's important. Maybe we can try to set a project deadline that works for both of us?"
Sixth – let’s focus on a sense of humor and avoid snide remarks. Jokes like "Well, you're from the old school..." are not funny. It sounds better if we say: "If we combined your experience with our chaos, we would be unstoppable!"
Consciously fostering empathy and intergenerational understanding in organizations helps create a work environment where every employee feels appreciated, heard, and respected. Such an attitude positively influences team relationships, increases a sense of well-being, and boosts engagement, which ultimately contributes to the long-term success of the company.
Bibliography:
- Drzewiecki M., Psychology of Communication, Jedność Publishing House, Kielce, 2000.
- PWN Online Dictionary of the Polish Language.
- Stein A., Communication. The Path to Understanding Yourself and Others, Mamania Grupa Wydawnicza Relacja sp. z o.o., Warsaw, 2024.
- World Health Organization, Constitution, https://www.who.int/about/governance/constitution, accessed: 31.01.2024.
- https://prawdaopokoleniach.pl/Raport_Prawda_o_Pokoleniach.pdf
- Twenge J. M., Generations, Smak Słowa Publishing House, Sopot, 2024.
- Hanson R., The Art of Building Good Relationships. 50 Effective Strategies. How to Express Your Needs, Resolve Conflicts, and Maintain Balance, Gdańskie Wydawnictwo Psychologiczne sp. z o.o., Sopot, 2022.
