.svg){kind=icon}
Communication is an inseparable part of our daily lives. We exchange dozens of pieces of information – at work, at home, on the street, online... However, communication is not just about words. It also includes gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and sometimes even silence. This becomes particularly important in relationships between generations, where differences in experience and values can hinder mutual understanding. Find out how to build empathy and intergenerational bridges of understanding – especially in the workplace.
How to improve your communication?
The ability to communicate effectively and understand others has a huge impact on a person’s quality of life and the building of interpersonal bonds. Why is that?
Firstly, our lives are primarily made up of interactions with others, and these rely on the ability to communicate. You cannot build family, friendship or professional relationships without talking about yourself and understanding what the other person is communicating. Both the extent and quality of our communication determine the durability of the connections we form with our surroundings.
Secondly, communication is not only about conveying information. The way we communicate also reflects the kind of bond we share with others. The way we speak and the way we listen says a lot about our attitude towards the other person. You can listen to someone’s story in a way that makes them feel respected and understood – or quite the opposite – judged and criticised.
Thirdly, it is not possible to function in society without some form of communication. Whenever we meet another person, we express something – through words, our posture, facial expressions, eye contact, and sometimes even silence. We are communicating even if we are not fully aware of it. Interestingly, avoiding contact with others can often take a worrying form, such as the “silent treatment” in a relationship.
It is therefore safe to say that we communicate through almost everything around us. None of us can entirely avoid contact with others. It is also worth emphasising that when we use the word “communication”, we mean not just the exchange of information, but an ongoing process. We are constantly sending and receiving signals, and the vast majority of this exchange takes place outside our awareness.
Moreover, people who, for various reasons, struggle to speak openly and honestly about their experiences usually rely on:
• non-verbal communication – e.g. gestures, facial expressions, body posture or tone of voice.
• Indirect communication – conveying information via media or intermediary tools such as a phone, messenger, or email, avoiding direct face-to-face contact.
The way we relate to others reflects our inner self – if someone is aggressive, they will communicate in just such a way. This is largely a matter of personality, not just knowledge of proper communication principles. What does this mean in practice? If our goal is to change flawed communication habits, we must first take care to positively transform our own personality. This, in turn, is a demanding and difficult task. Nevertheless, it is worth undertaking – to improve our relationships with those around us, build stronger bonds with loved ones and in the workplace, and, as a result, increase the quality of our own lives.
Empathy, the art of listening
Interpersonal communication is based on two key roles that conversation partners should take on alternately. These are the ability to speak and the ability to listen to what the other person is saying. Fr. Marek Drzewiecki, in his book “Psychologia porozumiewania się” (The Psychology of Communication), somewhat humorously states that there are three basic conditions that must be met for our communication styles to be mature and harmonious: “Firstly, one must learn to listen. Secondly, one must... learn to listen. Thirdly, one must... learn to listen.” Paradoxically, the most important skill in the art of communication is not speaking, but the ability to attentively listen to what the other person is saying. This means that one cannot master the correct way of expressing oneself without first learning to understand others and what they are saying to us.
At the same time, it turns out that the ability to truly listen is not as simple as it might seem. It is not just about hearing, because that only requires a functioning auditory organ, but the ability to listen. Our ears allow us to register the sounds that reach us. However, this is not the same as being able to tune in to what the other person is saying and understand the inner world they want to share with us. This is closely linked to empathy – a term that everyone who wants to build deep relationships and communicate in a mature way should become familiar with.
According to the online PWN Polish language dictionary, empathy is “the ability to tune in to the inner state of another person.” Why do we place so much focus on it? Because it is a key element of effective communication – it allows us to better understand the emotions, needs and perspectives of the person we are speaking to. As a result, it promotes the building of trust, helps avoid conflicts, and supports the creation of deeper human relationships.
How do the generations differ?
The report “The Truth About Generations”, produced jointly by Ipsos and MullenLowe Media, shows that age is one of the main filters through which we view people’s opinions and behaviours. Like education or gender, age helps us to notice certain patterns in human attitudes. And although age is important, it explains little by itself – to fully understand the diversity of human experience, this factor needs to be viewed in a broader context. Only by treating age as part of a bigger whole – embedded in a social, cultural and individual context – will we be able to understand other people and the choices they make.
In the book “Generations”, Jean M. Twenge notes that the dizzying pace of cultural change means that growing up in today’s world differs significantly from doing so in the 1950s or 1980s, or even in the first decade of the 21st century. These changes are very distinct. The era in which we are born influences our behaviour, attitudes, personality traits and values – and does so more powerfully than family.
The differences, depending on year of birth, are easiest to spot between particular generations. The term “generation” originally referred mainly to family relationships – for example, in the context of a multigenerational family, which would include grandparents, parents, and children. However, in recent decades, its meaning has broadened. Today, it is increasingly used to refer to social generations – that is, people born in the same period who share a common cultural background, historical experiences, or a lifestyle characteristic of that era.
Today’s United States is home to six generations:
1. The Silent Generation, which includes people born between 1925 and 1945.
2. Baby Boomers, the generation born between 1946 and 1964.
3. Generation X – people born between 1965 and 1979.
4. Millennials (Generation Y) – born between 1980 and 1994.
5. Generation Z (also known as iGen or Zoomers), that is, people born between 1995 and 2012.
6. The generation born after 2013, which does not yet have an official name, although some marketing experts refer to it as “Generation Alpha”.
It is worth emphasising that generations are not a phenomenon reserved only for the United States. Generational divisions exist in many other countries around the world, although they differ slightly due to cultural specifics. In Poland, however, the situation looks very similar.
Why are we talking about this at all? Because awareness of the differences resulting from being raised in different generations matters when it comes to understanding relationships within families or in the workplace (as well as in mental health, marketing, or politics).
Knowledge of these differences shapes our way of thinking, values, communication style, and expectations of the world. For example, in family relationships, awareness of different approaches to parenting or technology allows us to better understand why grandparents, parents, and children may perceive the same situations completely differently. In the workplace, it helps build understanding between younger and older employees, who have different working styles, motivations, and attitudes towards authority.
How to build intergenerational empathy and understanding in the workplace?
Building intergenerational empathy and understanding in the workplace is essential in the context of increasing age diversity within teams, which results primarily from two factors. Firstly, due to the ageing of society, and secondly, due to the cultural changes occurring in the labour market.
Employees representing different generations – from Baby Boomers to Generation Z – bring different values to the team, have different working styles, different needs, and different expectations of the organisation. A lack of appropriate communication can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. That is why it is crucial to create conditions for mutual understanding. As Agnieszka Stein, author of publications on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and the book “Komunikacja. Droga do zrozumienia siebie i innych” (Communication: The Path to Understanding Yourself and Others), points out, empathy is not just about showing compassion, but above all the ability to listen actively, taking into account the needs and feelings of the other person – regardless of their age or life experience.
Psychological reports, such as research by the Gallup Institute, also indicate that age-diverse teams have a better chance of achieving strong results. However, this depends on basing cooperation on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. This, in turn, requires willingness, communication skills, and targeted actions, such as creating space for intergenerational dialogue, implementing two-way mentoring (where both older and younger employees learn from each other), organising workshops to develop communication and emotional skills, and promoting an attitude of curiosity instead of judgement or criticism.
Intergenerational rituals in the workplace
We already know that intergenerational understanding is possible – all it takes is empathy, openness, and a bit of goodwill. In addition, there are certain rituals that are worth introducing in the workplace to bring generations together. These involve regular, shared integration activities that build relationships and encourage the exchange of experiences between employees of different ages.
These might include weekly team meetings or departmental status updates, during which ideas can be shared and a sense of community built. Workshops and training sessions focused on communication, personal development, or teamwork have a positive impact on relationships.
Many people emphasise that mutual learning and knowledge sharing also improve the atmosphere at work and help bridge generational gaps. This refers to intergenerational mentoring, in which older employees support younger ones, who in turn share fresh ideas and modern solutions.
Everyday informal rituals are also very important – such as shared lunch, coffee, or tea breaks – which support the integration of different generations. Similarly, celebrating successes, birthdays, name days, or welcoming new employees helps to create a sense of closeness.
The rituals mentioned above are an effective way to strengthen the sense of belonging. At the same time, they create opportunities to embrace diversity and, most importantly, build a more integrated and empathetic organisational culture. Let us remember that intergenerational cooperation is not about uniformity, but about finding points of connection. Differences between people do not have to divide – on the contrary, they can enrich. Even humour can unite rather than divide, if it comes from a place of kindness.
6 principles of intergenerational communication
According to Stephen Covey, author of bestselling books on personal development and effective habits, interpersonal relationships can be compared to a bank account, into which one can make deposits or withdrawals. Every word and gesture in contact with another person is like a deposit into or a withdrawal from that account. It is important, however, to first build up some savings – positive relationships that will serve as a reserve for more challenging moments. The more demanding the conversation, the greater the injection of optimism and good energy needed in such situations.
Talking with another person is a way to solve problems and handle various matters, but it also contributes to accumulating resources in our relational account that will be needed in difficult situations. Some of us are convinced that saying nice things is unnecessary, and expressing obvious facts completely pointless. Meanwhile, Agnieszka Stein encourages exactly this kind of communication, as it effectively strengthens relationships. A person who hears kind words from us becomes gentler and more open. So why shouldn’t we say such things to our colleagues at work as well?
Discover 6 principles that will help you foster empathetic and kind communication in your team:
First – don’t be afraid to say pleasant, positive things. Words of recognition, rather than judgement, have the power to build relationships regardless of age. Let’s appreciate rather than complain. For example, when an older employee says to a younger colleague, “I was impressed by how efficiently you handled that Excel task – I’m learning from you,” she will feel valued and will most likely respond warmly, e.g. “Thanks, I really admire how calmly you handle difficult conversations.”
Second – listen carefully before responding. For instance, when one employee proposes a solution and another shakes their head, saying it is not quite a good idea, it is worth asking: “Tell me more about that – what exactly would you like to show there?” or “Let’s think about how we can align that idea with our strategy.”
Third – use language that is understandable to the listener. A younger colleague, knowledgeable about new technologies, when talking to an older person about an Instagram campaign, should explain everything clearly. A good example would be Millennials talking about the campaign: “We’ll drop a teaser and do a Q&A on stories. Then we’ll hit it with a boost.” An older colleague might not understand that message. Instead of using technical jargon, one could say: “First, we’ll publish a preview, then hold a Q&A session on Instagram, and afterwards launch a paid promotion.”
Fourth – instead of generalising, ask questions. Rather than saying, “Young people are always in a hurry...”, it’s better to ask: “I’ve noticed you like to work fast. What do you think this approach brings to the project?” Curiosity and questions create space for dialogue.
Fifth – respect differences instead of fighting them. Showing respect for a different pace, working style or set of priorities is an important element of mutual understanding. A younger person usually acts dynamically and reacts quickly, while an older one operates a bit more slowly and needs more time for analysis. One might then suggest: “I know you like to think things through – that’s important. Maybe we can agree on a deadline for this project that works for both of us?”
Sixth – rely on humour and avoid sarcasm. Jokes like “You’re from the old school...” are not funny. It sounds much better to say: “If we combined your experience with our chaos, we’d be unstoppable and impossible to beat!”
Consciously supporting empathy and intergenerational understanding in organisations helps to create a work environment in which every employee feels appreciated, heard, and respected. This approach has a positive impact on team relations, enhances well-being, and increases engagement, which in turn contributes to the long-term success of the company.
References:
1) Ks. Drzewiecki M., Psychologia porozumiewania się, Wydawnictwo Jedność, Kielce, 2000.
2) PWN Online Dictionary of Polish Language.
3) Stein A., Komunikacja. Droga do zrozumienia siebie i innych, Mamania Grupa Wydawnicza Relacja sp. z o.o., Warszawa, 2024.
4) World Health Organization, Constitution, https://www.who.int/about/governance/constitution, accessed on: 31 January 2024.
5) https://prawdaopokoleniach.pl/Raport_Prawda_o_Pokoleniach.pdf
6) Twege J. M., Pokolenia, Wydawnictwo Smak Słowa, Sopot, 2024.
7) Hanson R., Sztuka budowania dobrych relacji. 50 skutecznych strategii. Jak wyrażać swoje potrzeby, rozwiązywać konflikty i dbać o równowagę, Gdańskie Wydawnictwo Psychologiczne sp. z o.o., Sopot, 2022.
