The Superwoman Syndrome – Why Do Women Still Take On Too Much?

From perfection to burnout

I looked on in disbelief. A calendar I stumbled upon revealed a sad truth about who I was years ago—I was a full-time "fixer" with no real specialty. In other words, I handled everything and everyone. I look at the notes from a single day: kindergarten, buying tissue paper, my son's school play, my daughter's parent-teacher meeting, several deadlines, three meetings. On top of that—get a pap smear, make dinner, call my husband, remember to deworm the cat.

Do you know that feeling? I bet you do. Many of us women feel we have to be perfect in every role we play. But do we really have to carry this "superhero" burden?

Good daily organization is one thing. It’s a different story when juggling life roles—mother, partner, employee/employer, friend—has to be perfect, and we have to be infallible. This effectively drains our energy, time, physical, and mental resources, eventually leading to a sense of emptiness or even burnout. That is exactly what the superwoman syndrome looks like.

Why do women take on too much?

A nationwide study conducted in 2018 as part of the "Woman Power" project by Dorota Peretiatkowicz and Katarzyna Krzywicka-Zdunek showed that the social pressure for women to "have it all together" has never been greater. We are expected not only to take care of the home, have a hot dinner on the table, stay in great shape, and be attractive, but also to achieve professional success and earn a high income.

In our desire to meet these demands and not fall behind, we forget about our basic human limitations. You can't cheat biology. This inhuman pace and perfectionism will eventually send us the bill.

In his book "Four Thousand Weeks," Oliver Burkeman argues: "Accepting your limitations means organizing your days with the awareness that there is no way you will have enough time for everything you would like to do or everything that is expected of you, and there is no reason to blame yourself for that. You must learn to consciously decide what to focus your attention on and what to ignore."

Time for a test – answer "YES" or "NO" to the following questions:

1. Do you believe that if something is to be done well and efficiently, you have to roll up your sleeves and do it yourself?
2. Have you conditioned your loved ones to expect you to handle everything, and do they silently count on you to do so?
3. Do you find it difficult to do something for yourself or to rest, because you could be getting so much more done in that time?
4. Do you find it difficult to ask for help because you feel you should be able to handle things on your own?
5. Do you find yourself redoing work done by others because you believe you do it best your way?
6. Do you take on more than you can handle just because you feel it needs to be done?
7. Is your calendar packed with tasks, making it hard to find space for rest or time for yourself?
8. Are you often tired, yet you keep pushing forward anyway?
9. Does your body signal that it needs a break, but you don't give yourself permission to take one?
10. Do you suppress your emotions and needs because you feel it’s not the right time or that other things are more important?

Results:

• 1-4 "YES" answers? You likely have a healthy balance.
• More than 4 "YES" answers? It’s worth examining your patterns and starting to practice the difficult "art of letting go."

How to overcome the superwoman syndrome?

The superwoman syndrome can stem from various sources – the socially accepted model of the "ideal woman," social media, upbringing, or a fear of judgment and criticism. It can also result from the so-called imposter syndrome, which drives us to prove our competence through overworking.

Regardless of the cause, the consequences of the superwoman syndrome are serious – chronic fatigue, professional and parental burnout, and psychosomatic ailments. Professionally, it hinders delegation and destabilizes work-life balance. In private life, it weakens relationships with loved ones.

The good news? We can do something about it! It is helpful to examine your habits and, consequently, change your approach. It is worth starting by accepting that perfection does not exist and that letting go is a form of self-care.

Key factors include healthy time management, proper prioritization, and planning rest as an investment in your well-being. Improving your delegation skills and giving yourself internal permission for others to do things "their own way" will be useful. You can always fix it later if needed!

I also encourage you to seek external support for this process – there are plenty of women around you in similar situations, and talking to them can act as true mentoring or a mastermind group.

Choose one small thing to consciously let go of this coming week and see what happens. The world certainly won't fall apart, and you might gain some breathing room.

And finally, a reflection – if even Superman turned into Clark Kent to take a break from his "super-version," we should give ourselves the right to do the same. A recharged female potential is unstoppable!

Bibliography:

1) "Women in Poland 2018" study, IQS research agency, in cooperation with Ringier Axel Springer publishing house
2) O. Burkeman, "Four Thousand Weeks", Insignis Publishing