From Kalashnikov to the green pencil: the power of empathy

In a world where everyone feels like an expert on someone else's life, maintaining your own backbone, your sense of self, and your peace of mind requires immense strength. In this episode of the "Well Said" series, Andrzej Silczuk talks to journalist Dorota Wellman about how to build inner resilience and self-worth without feeding on likes and hearts, and why valuable feedback, though sometimes difficult, is one of the most important tools for growth.

In this episode, you will hear about:

1. why having privacy is the greatest treasure in today's world,
2. how to wisely distinguish constructive criticism that fosters growth from hate, which is usually just an expression of someone else's helplessness and frustration,
3. why online (pseudo)anonymity unleashes the worst instincts in people - and what to do about it, - why the "green pen method" and focusing on what we do well is more valuable than pointing out mistakes with a red pen,
4. why accepting feedback from others, even after decades of practice, still makes sense and how to do it without taking offense at reality.

Good feedback is creative; it can help us grow, change, and move forward. Hate is not its opposite. It is just noise. And the best thing you can do with it is ignore it.

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This recording is from the Multi.Life channel - a wellbeing platform for companies.

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Check it out: https://bit.ly/42Lvf7J | Demo for HR: https://bit.ly/48Kn6nE\

1. 00:02:24 - What you reveal is your decision - Dorota on what she consciously keeps to herself
2. ‍00:05:46 - "The more we share externally, the more we deprive ourselves of something of our own"
3. 00:07:34 - What criticism really is and why it's worth listening to
4. ‍00:09:18 - Feedback at work - intention is everything and why you should surround yourself with people who are direct
5. 00:13:50 - Feedback as a gift - why constructive feedback fosters growth
6. 00:17:39 - The internet has made us experts on everything - and why that's more dangerous than we think
7. 00:18:36 - Pseudo-anonymity online - an illusion with legal consequences
8. 00:22:50 - Hate doesn't just affect the victim - its consequences reach further than you think
9. 00:24:45 - Do you really need a thick skin to live in a world of hate?
10. 00:29:34 - Where does hate come from and why is it a form of violence
11. ‍00:34:20 - Silence or confrontation - how should you really respond to hate?
12. ‍00:37:38 - Self-worth: internal beliefs versus external opinions
13. ‍00:41:10 - What is wonderful about you? How women answer this question
14. 00:42:27 - What is Dorota Wellman proud of?
15. 00:44:35 - The green pen method instead of the red pen
16. 00:47:25 - Why constructive feedback is a treasure
17. 00:50:38 - Mariusz Walter – a master of balancing praise and criticism
18. 00:53:17 - The feedback that stayed with Dorota for years
19. 00:56:50 - How to accept difficult feedback without doubting yourself?
20. 01:04:28 - One way to deal with hate: don't get dragged into the mud