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I want to talk about your work. The other person hears: "something went wrong." The conversation loses its meaning before it has even begun.
In this episode of the "Company That Supports" series, Dr. Ewa Hartman talks to Rafał Cupiał—a business trainer, consultant, and specialist in collaboration and feedback—about why feedback so often backfires and what to do to change that.
We discuss:
- why every assessment is based on a slice of reality and how that limits the effectiveness of development conversations,
- what the social layer of feedback is and why it, rather than the content itself, often determines how feedback is received,
- how a few sentences at the start of a conversation can turn an attack into a dialogue,
- what psychological safety really is and why it has nothing to do with avoiding difficult topics.
Feedback is not a technique. It is a daily decision: are you building an environment where people speak openly, or one where they learn to stay silent?
This episode comes from the Multi.Life channel - a wellbeing platform for companies. Check it out: https://multi.life | Demo for HR: https://multi.life/#formularz
00:02:10 What is feedback and why do we have a problem with its definition?
00:03:04 How (easily) can you ruin feedback?
00:05:27 Mistake #1: The illusion of having the full picture
00:06:33 Mistake #2: Ignoring the social layer
00:08:49 Dr. Therese Houston's research: two questions that reveal what people really need from feedback
00:11:30 Exercise: what bad feedback looks like in practice
00:13:42 Fundamental attribution error: why an employee is "incompetent" while a colleague "got stuck in traffic"
00:14:44 Cortisol and hierarchy: the biological mechanism behind bad feedback
00:15:41 How to reframe a difficult conversation? Pre-utilization techniques and building an alliance
00:19:13 The social cost of bad feedback: work-to-rule strikes and turf wars
00:20:05 Five examples of pro-social movements
00:22:50 Relationships as a safety net and allowing employees to draw their own conclusions
00:27:38 Can one bad apple spoil the whole bunch (or one employee ruin an entire team)?
00:34:23 Can feedback be too soft? Amy Edmondson’s psychological safety model
00:38:42 A story from a high-risk pregnancy ward: how psychological safety saves lives
00:44:02 David Rock's SCARF model – 5 aspects of human interaction in the context of feedback
00:45:19 Good and bad feedback in real time
00:51:17 The importance of providing context, explaining, and asking open-ended questions
00:53:16 What do employees think about a boss's intentions during criticism? A surprising study
00:57:44 Receiving feedback
01:00:14 Three types of feedback: appreciation, evaluation, and coaching
01:05:01 "A company that supports" – according to Rafał Cupiał: psychological safety as a starting point
